Why people date other marrieds?
Talk about a loaded topic that no one wants to speak about, that’s it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on ever since old ages. Extramarital relationships can be fraught with troubles, cause sadness, and other harms. Also you must wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and frankness matter, funds, age difference, spiritual background, guilt, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this post I shall identify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, date married.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many answers as there are women seeking an affair. I am sure generally though it is just the human state, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and fun, and sex makes us flee the world for a small period of time. This excitement exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people can turn the wish on and off, some are brilliant at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These needs and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos the world has erected against affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will beat their fears and make them risk the wrath of not only their relatives, but society too. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is extremely pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not wound your spouse or anybody else? You would need to reduce the jeopardy you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everybody, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest grouping, colossal actually. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they feel comfy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to think about. Your money are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay jointly besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them implementing the sex act, at least not with their spouse. An extramarital affair from time to time solves the trouble while keeping the marriage whole.
Neglect, sadly this is a ordinary groung I fear. One or the other, frequently the man is sexually neglecting his wife for a multitude of reasons. As a male I really appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “hot wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, maybe caring is disappeared, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Could be we have just grown separately, our common interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to escape, for economic gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair